Haha okay no it's not the blues, really. It's more like shitty grey's.
HOLY CRAP it takes my brain a long time to wind up in the morning, shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit.
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I love the fact that I'm playing with a bunch of my old friends lately.
Yeah okay so that's the good news.
The shitty news is, I knew it wasn't going to last long.
D3 is such an awesome distraction from the crap IRL. It doesn't really involve Christopher, so it gives me my 'own' separate mini-goals and pseudo life.
So what's the problem? I'm aggroing and I'm going to have to stop playing - yet again.
Riki's GF is having issues with him playing with me. He didn't say that - but he got in trouble for playing yet again. He even had to delete me off his buddylist a while back.
Shoji just can't play with me. He does on occasion, but it's hard for him and he makes himself super cold when we do play. I get it. It just sucks.
Osaka plays with me quite often. It's awesome. He's also super kind and I worry that he's developing feelings again.
Yeah, awesome people problems. I don't even TRY to aggro and it's like my taunt button on my keyboard is broken and stuck pressed down. It's on auto taunt and it fucking sucks. I don't even know what I do. Chris says, "You're just you." Well that fucking sucks.
Not to mention, I'm aggroing Kip pretty hard too.
It's almost like this is some cruel trick. God made me be able to relate to guys really well. So well in fact, that it's hard to keep close friends because I either intimidate their girlfriends (by just existing) or they end up into me. FML, seriously. It sounds like I'm complaining about being awesome and how fucking narcissistic and stupid is it to complain about that? It's awful when you get close to friends and eventually they get to a point where their relationships are compromised and I get to make the decision of walking away from friends and stuff that I enjoy for the sake of being lawfully good. I walk away because I care about them and don't want to ruin or complicate anything for them by just existing.
Don't feel sorry for me. This is the story of my life. It happens when you're a cute gamer girl in a male dominated industry.
I knew this was going to happen. I'm just grieving.
This also is good timing for me to ninja away from my friendship with Andy. What?? Yeah, I know. Where did that even come from? He's meeting people now and being social. I'm not going to compromise the work he's putting into growing as a person, despite the fact that he's one of my best friends. I'm being a best friend and looking out for his well being and future by not being in it.
So what happens to warlords of draenor? I'm not even sure at this point. I was hoping Justin would come back, not just for Andy's sake, but for mine too. I miss Justin and always have fun playing with him. He won't though - so the likelihood of me actually returning to play is slim.
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So where does this take me? I have no idea and I wish I knew.
All my best friends have told me "not to change". It's hard to not want to change as a person when this is the cycle of my life. I'm still friends with ALL of my friends since childhood. I'm a social fucking butterfly. I just can't have them closer than a certain point. It gets complicated. I hate it. I'm almost pissed off at my parents for raising me this way.
So I guess I will be changing friendships starting now. I'm sorry. I won't change as a person deep down, but I know where I'm at right now. I'm not going to be 'heavy' in anyone's life. UGH that's so annoying and fucked up. Do you know how many heavy people I've carried and dealt with it? Jesus. Let me just say, most of my friends have been heavy at a point.
FML.
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LOL I got a message from Shinsuke late last night,
S: Yo foo. I gots to work tomorrow so were gonna have to take a raincheck on those grifts ya dig? Peace out in the world of sanctuary.
M: /linked 3.4mil picture with my 87mil crit
S: Wow.With no limit in sight. Cool! You're doing so much damage!
M: Thanks, can't wait to get T&T tho!
S: Still pretty darn good. I can't remember what my damage is with my dh but maybe its like half that lol.
UGH I fucking hate giving up things I enjoy!
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I can already hear you thinking, "SEE, well look - Shinsuke is a childhood friend that you're reconnecting with. That's awesome! You don't always have to worry about aggro." Yeah whatever. He's the original 'lessons'. Well Koichi taught me lessons, but he's the first one I taught lessons to - and not as fun but seriously as lessons - to improve his abilities. Like seriously, we were like 18 and it's been a long time, but guys have this fucked up hope thing. I don't think I'm going to aggro Shinsuke (or maybe that's just hopeful/wishful thinking), but at this point, it wouldn't surprise me.
I'm pretty confident in teaching lessons in fact, I'm arrogant about it because I know I'm good. LORD where's your humility? I am humble about a lot of things - this, is not one of them. The OPness of my lessons has gotten me into a lot of trouble, lets just say.
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So I've rejoined pinterest. I need to fucking research or broaden my brain in some other way. I need to find new hobbies, lol. The sad part is, I get so bored talking about kids and random mom shit all the time. Like, I don't want to talk about the fucking farmer's market for an entire afternoon. Don't get me wrong, I love it too. I love sewing and cooking and a million other things. I just don't get mentally stimulated from talking about about stuff like that for long.
I'd much rather talk about how OP certain classes are, or sentry break points. I'm fucked!
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Anyway, I'm going to do act 3 & 4 in t1 adventure mode this morning. Yeah wtf t1? I'm just breezing through it because i don't give a fuck and I want to finish it (i've never done it solo).
xo
M
