According to Carl G. Jung's theory of psychological types [Jung, 1971], people can be characterized by their preference of general attitude:
- Extraverted (E) vs. Introverted (I),
their preference of one of the two functions of perception:
- Sensing (S) vs. Intuition (N),
and their preference of one of the two functions of judging:
- Thinking (T) vs. Feeling (F)
The three areas of preferences introduced by Jung are dichotomies. Jung also proposed that in a person one of the four functions above is dominant – either a function of perception or a function of judging. Isabel Briggs Myers, a researcher and practitioner of Jung’s theory, proposed to see the judging-perceiving relationship as a fourth dichotomy influencing personality type [Briggs Myers, 1980]:
- Judging (J) vs. Perceiving (P)
The scales of these four dimensions represent a continuum between two opposite poles, from 100 at one pole to 100 at another pole. In other words the scale is 200 units long:
Extravert [100% - - - 0% - - - 100%] Introvert
People may reveal features of both poles but typically have a preference of one way over the other. The letter indicates the preference and the percentage indicates the extent of it.
Apparently, most people aren't within the 0-5% range on any one thing, then on top of that, it's almost unheard of for people to be balanced on 2 categories. I am the weird freak that's balanced on all 4.
Thank you emotional quotient, clairsentience, for making me so balanced that I broke a personality test!
I finally came "out of the closet" about clairsentience with Iain last night. I felt comfortable to "come out" because he's a clairsentient as well. Go ahead think I'm crazy, but don't act all surprised because I've probably felt your emotions obviously at some point where it was "weird that I just happened to know exactly what you were feeling" or "you know me better than I know myself". I don't. I just cheat and feel you.
Being clairsentient brings a different level of misery to someone's life. I'm never surprised. You can't hide anything because despite the fact that I'm not psychic and don't know what you're thinking, I'm clairsentient and feel what you're feeling, then interpret it through logic on what's going on. I'm always right when it comes to feeling the emotion. I'm just not always right when interpreting. Some people have very obvious physical emotional responses that I can feel. Like grieving from a loss - that's specific and feels totally different from getting a bad grade on a test. I can feel all the inbetweens of all those emotions.
Anxiety is a hard one. There are variations, but anxiety can be so intense that it clouds the other more specific emotions.
Love is specific. There are a myriad of different kinds of love. How one person defines love is completely different from another. I can feel them all - as different as they are.
Anyway, I had to go prove it to my catholic father. I had to "feel" 3 people because in the Catholic Church, you need 3 miracles to happen in order for it to be acknowledged. I read 3 people spot on, even down to the physicality of where they were feeling it. Then I proceeded to feel my priest as his skepticism had quickly changed to asking me, "Who was your patron saint at confirmation?" I told him it was St. Francis. He proceeded to tell me that it was fitting (and a 4th miracle) because St. Francis was the initial clairsentient in history, apparently. "This is not a coincidence. This is all part of His plan."
Okay? Not to be a Debbie downer, but if god granted me this weird ability to help people and I'm a selfish bitch who only used it for getting good on interviews and knowing what I was getting for Xmas ahead of time, I'd say I failed this mission for reals.
My priest continued to tell me that there are people on earth that many Catholics believe were miracles - not meant to be here but are angels put on earth designed to help others. Most of them have supernatural abilities.
Hold the phone.
First of all, I don't even know if I believe that this is a supernatural ability. I've always thought it was just great intuition and just a higher emotional quotient.
Secondly, don't imply I'm some kind of angel, because I'm not. I'm not one of God's gift to mankind. I'm just a weirdo with high emotional intelligence.
So after that evaluation, I officially got deemed as a clairsentient. Hardly anyone knows - and it's not something I really am particularly happy or proud about. Iain is also clairsentient. We can feel each other trying to feel each other, it's hilarious. Like concious scanning or observation.
Why did I bring this up?
Because I had a rough day yesterday. In all ways, hahahaha.
Because Iain said we were an evolution of people - emotional quotient wise. That we are awesome. Most people just won't ever realize that we are, since we fade into the darkness so easily. We're the most highly adaptable people and we're reserved and also wear our hearts on our sleeves.
My point was - I took the test to prove a point to myself. The point was that I'm weird - and so fucking unique it's ridiculous. I literally can be what most people need because I don't have a defined specific personality type. I am literally a book full of blank pages to fill. I hardly say no - because why not? I adapt to everything and anything. I'm not pigeonholed into any category. I'm not just a girl gamer. I'm not just a nerd. I wasn't just a softball player, band geek, or cheerleader. I was fucking everything because I could be.
So go ahead and judge. Judge me for being weird or be skeptical. Judge me for being angry or whatever you think I reflect. Because I am weird, nerdy, and clairsentient.
This doesn't make me angry. This makes me confident. Because although being so unique can be a lonely place, I'm also in a league of my own. That feels fucking OP.
xo
eM
