Christopher lost both his jobs within a span of a week. He's going through a tough time and I'm doing my best to be loving. It's hard not to be 'cold & calculated' when it's a time where logic has to prevail.
correction...
He needs a hug and I need to follow through on some strategies.
- - -
OK So weird stuff happened last night.
In lieu of this whole losing job thing, Christopher, Isabelle, and I all went to Chris' Rites of Christian Initiation Class (his bible study) and tried to at least remind ourselves to have 'faith' that things would work out.
Anyway, yesterday's word of the day was Grace.
This was the topic in his Bible study. They glazed over the entirety of what is or constitutes 'Grace'. Many people are newbie Christians (doing this to receive a sacrament of Baptism or convert) and most of them really don't know what Grace is. Anyway, after the entire hour and a half of discussing this; Trying to interpret it in a myriad of ways to attempt for the large group to comprehend, Christopher still just didn't get the concept.
After the class was ended, we visited Russ & Kathy (Christopher's Mom & +Dad). They had ran an errand for us today (picking up some Enfamil for Isabelle) and we went to visit them. We had a nice visit and broke the news about losing the job and such.
Kathy asked me if I was doing ok. The funny thing is, I think I'm supposed to be feeling worse than what I'm feeling, haha. I'm really not feeling 'bad' over anything. I'm excited. We have a new start. I have faith that we'll find something that will work with our family.
Throughout the day, I had many instances of being aware of God's grace (if that makes any sense). There were times where I just wanted to break down and be upset, but there was always a little part of me that just said, 'Let go. It's not your burden to bear'. Anyway, I would listen, and 'let go' each time and things would just work out.
For example, in order to Catch the ferry in time, Christopher needed to get home on time. The Gathering Place was closed already and he didn't have his phone on him (for some reason). I couldn't get a hold of him. I thought to myself, 'WELL SHIT, we're going to miss the ferry and have to...blah blah blah blah blah, complain, complain, complain.' Anyway a warm feeling in my heart just had the urge to let go and just not worry. Christopher came home immediately after I let go and told me the news about losing his job. Since I was all zenlike just prior to him returning, it made it easier to be his rock; To be the strong one in his moment of confusion.
Anyway, back to Nanaimo. He stayed pretty quiet about his trouble understanding the lesson at RCIA today until we started driving home towards the Gabriola ferry. He started opening up and said, "Honestly, I thought I knew what Grace was, but if I had to explain it to someone I don't think I could." then he proceeded to ask me what Grace meant to me.
To me, Grace is this divine connection to God. It's a choice and not forced upon. We can either choose to receive, create, strengthen this connection to God through faith, prayer, worship, etc... or we could also deny his existence.
In WoW terms, Grace would be like a Warlock's Soul-Link with their pet. It doesn't really do much in regular gameplay, but it boosts the Warlock's spirit when needed (lol, that totally is true and a weird coincidence).
He totally understood it after that, lol.
THEN, we got home...
We read right before bed and I'm reading this book of Devotionals. The first page that I started reading (where I left off from last night) had a paragraph, "What your heart craves, deep down? I think it's grace- the assurance that no matter what happens, God is with you, working everything together for good as Romans 8:28 promises. When trials hit, that's the time to search for lost treasure. Finding grace in a trial is like smothering bitter fruit with a teaspoon of honey, transforming it into something you can swallow. What lingers is the sweetness of grace."
and followed by:
"I paid the bills today. It's not something I enjoy doing, but lately I am realizing this obligation is laden with gifts. To start with, I am thankful for the gift of having enough money in the bank to cover all the checks. Gene, who earns on commissions, and I, in freelance writing, have incomes that are unpredictable. But this way of living is rich with opportunities to trust God.
When there is a need, we lay it before the Lord. If the need is legitimate, inevitably the resources will be supplied. If not, we let it go. Paying bills means acknowledging the provision of God. When I pay the mortgage, I thank God for our home. Electric and Gas bills represent warmth, light, and hot meals. Phone bills mean we have friends, family, work, and a fulfilling church life."
WHAT are the odds? What are the odds that the first thing that I read right before bed is basically our current situation (ALL OF IT), and that it reassures me that everything is going to be ok? See it's situations like these where I don't really have a choice to dis-believe. There are certain things in life that just aren't coincidence; certain things that are predetermined and show that he exists.
