It's easy to say, "I want to raise good kids." What does that mean, really? Sounds a lot like docile, 'yes ma'am', brainwashing.
Fuck wanting to raise 'good kids', honestly. I don't want obedient, mindless, arrogant, and entitled children.
I want to raise adults that can make well thought out decisions. I want to raise adults that can communicate their needs clearly and have a good work ethic.
I want my children to be kind, thoughtful, loving, and appreciative.
We don't do "positive parenting".
We don't do "authoritative parenting".
We don't do "passive parenting".
Our method incorporates all aspects of these three parenting styles as well as emotional allowance. She's allowed to have tantrums. She's allowed to vent her frustration. It's our job to guide her through venting these big emotions, safely.
For example, it's completely a big NO to climb on the kitchen table. It's never a maybe or an "okay it's her birthday, we'll let it slide".
How I express it is firmly saying, "No, It's not safe to climb on the table. Please get down now."
If she doesn't get down, I move her off. This isn't a negotiation.
Once she's down, I tell her, "This really scares Mommy and can be a big owwie if you fall. I see that you want to climb right now so lets make a tower (or castle) out of the couch cushions and you can climb there, hey?"
She usually listens right quick. :)
We don't do "positive parenting".
We don't do "authoritative parenting".
We don't do "passive parenting".
Our method incorporates all aspects of these three parenting styles as well as emotional allowance. She's allowed to have tantrums. She's allowed to vent her frustration. It's our job to guide her through venting these big emotions, safely.
For example, it's completely a big NO to climb on the kitchen table. It's never a maybe or an "okay it's her birthday, we'll let it slide".
How I express it is firmly saying, "No, It's not safe to climb on the table. Please get down now."
If she doesn't get down, I move her off. This isn't a negotiation.
Once she's down, I tell her, "This really scares Mommy and can be a big owwie if you fall. I see that you want to climb right now so lets make a tower (or castle) out of the couch cushions and you can climb there, hey?"
She usually listens right quick. :)
- - -
I was raised with the Trivium philosophy. My grandmother focused on learning the common sense basics of life and my parents' philosophy was to expose me to as much opportunities as possible.
I am in turn, doing my best to raise my children with a very similar philosophy - just at their pace.
Isabelle and Kesler are completely at different speeds and I do my best to cater to their strengths and weaknesses.
Many parents focus on strengths - that this is what they're good at, so keep building up these talents.
After learning what works with our family, I find that there has to be a balance between easily accomplish-able tasks & activities (such as doing things that they're already good at) and more challenging/complex tasks that focus on building on the skills & competency where they may be lacking in.
Practice doesn't make perfect. Nothing is perfect. Practice builds character and creates a cycle of good work ethic that every child needs.
Thus, what works for us is that we have a routine. It's not completely set in stone and there is chances for spontaneity but I provide them with 2 major activities a day. I find that more than 2 a day can be overwhelming (for both kids & mommy) and promotes focus bouncing (at least with Isabelle).
Our routine is basically pretty simple:
- Breakfast with Daddy
- Morning Cartoons (while mommy prepares the day or cleans up from last night)
- Snack
- 1st Activity
- Lunch
- 2nd Activity
- Snack
- Evening Cartoons (while mommy wraps up the day)
- Dinner
- Bedtime Routine
Kesler usually takes 2 naps a day the first one is between 9-Noon and the second is from 4-6. Izzy takes one nap between 4-6.
I'm not one of those Mum's that need to abide by specific time frames. Sometimes snack time will carry over or sometimes they'll get 1 or 2 extra cartoons if I've got a lot of laundry to do. It's all a priority juggle that depends on how much fun they're having & how much work I need to do.
- - -
Izzy is 3 years old and Kesler is 1.5. They're needs are different yet we try to focus on doing the same theme for activities everyday.
For example:
We do a lot of art: coloring (crayons, markers, window markers, paints)
Izzy does coloring books, while Kesler's paper is taped on the table and he can just go wild. Sometimes I just use huge butcher paper for both of them to go crazy on.
We also have a huge dry erase board that I use almost on a daily basis. We use washable markers & washable crayons on it to practice letters. We also use it to finger paint on (so we have controlled chaos).
She also uses workbooks and flashcards.
There we also do quite a bit of outdoor play. I just made a water table for Izzy & Kes. Kes is kinda too little for the big water table, so I have a black sterilite bin that I fill with water halfway for him (and place it next to hers). It's black because it heats the water to a warmer temperature than hers. :)
Kes can't really participate in the peanut butter pinecone birdfeeder activity aside from eating the peanut butter and making a mess in his high chair, haha. Hey, that's all sensory exposure! :)
I'll have to elaborate more later. My two little munchkins are awake and ready to party.
